I have wanted to write a post about the gift of patience for a while; however one day it came to me that this gift would be best as the last gift.
Why? Because the gift of patience is one I work on...every...single...day.
My daughter is one of the most patient people I know. She waits for so much and after she waits she probably is hoping and praying we know what she really wants!
Being patient is hard....probably one of the hardest things to learn and to practice.
I have learned from her that everything takes time and you have to be patient. As much as I would love for things to happen overnight, they do not. I have to take a deep breath and trust, if it was meant to be, it will happen. If it doesn't happen then it wasn't meant to be or the timing wasn't right. It has taken me a long time to try and practice living this way....and I still work on it...daily. Some days I am better at it than others. But just when I need a reminder, my daughter will show me a sign that I need to be patient.
My patience is tested daily. All three of my children test my patience and some know how to push me over the edge more than the others. However, of all my children, it is my nonverbal daughter who truly understands what patience is. Can you imagine waiting for someone to unlock the magic gene so you can talk? So you can use your own two hands...functionally? So you can walk around without having someone be within arms reach? So you can have privacy? So you can live the life you deserve? And while she waits so patiently....for just about everything, she does it with a great attitude.
I honestly do not know how she does it. I honestly do not know if I could do it. She simply amazes me. And at the same time it kills me to have to watch her wait....patiently, when of all people she should be demanding!
Watching my daughter deal with her struggles associated with Rett Syndrome, old and new, is truly inspiring. Over the last 365 days I feel like I have connected with her on a whole different level. I have so many emotions going through my head as this chapter...this challenge....this blog comes to an end.
I am rejuvenated as I have learned so much more than I ever thought possible.
I am ecstatic I actually stuck to my promise to myself and blogged about a daily gift from my nonverbal daughter for one whole year.
I am relaxed as I have learned from my daughter how to find my inner "calm" and to not worry, but to let God worry for me.
I am inspired as there is no better teacher than someone who doesn't take anything for granted...no better teacher than one who teaches through actions and few words.
I am proud...proud of my daughter for all she has accomplished, all she has learned and all she has overcome and most importantly for who she is.
I am a little sad as I have truly enjoyed writing about her daily gifts, learning from them and sharing them with others...sharing them with you.
Finding the true gifts amongst the grey has helped me deal with all the pain over the years.
I will be honest, there is still a little piece of pain which will always live inside my heart for my daughter. I do not think it will go away until there is a cure for her. Until that day....I will have to live just like my teacher has taught me....patiently.
Here is one quote and one poem to end my year of gifts.....
Living with silence teaches a great deal. When you cannot speak, you learn to share more from the heart. Instead of giving words, you give love- Author Unknown
A Special Child
You weren't like other children.
And God was well aware,
You'd need a caring family,
...with love enough to share.
And so He sent you to us,
And much to our surprise,
You haven't been a challenge,
But a blessing in disguise.
Your winning smiles and laughter,
The pleasures you impart,
Far outweigh your special needs,
And melt the coldest heart.
We're proud that we've been chosen,
To help you learn and grow,
The joy that you have brought us,
Is more than you can know.
A precious gift from Heaven,
A treasure from above,
A child who's taught us many things,
BUT most of all "REAL LOVE".
By Sharon Harris