Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Mother/Daughter Moments

Today's gift is Mother/Daughter Moments.

What mother doesn't want to experience a typical mother/daughter date, outing, or trip with their daughter?  I enjoy these moments with both of my daughters and individually with them.  While they are always easier with my middle daughter, they can be challenging with my oldest.  I always have to make sure I plan them accordingly and have a Plan B waiting in case something happens.

Today, the girls got their back to school haircuts.  I love taking them to the hair salon, but I really love taking my daughter with special needs.  When we first started going to this one salon...the same one I go to...I would have to go with a bag of tricks and tell my stylist to work fast as I knew she wasn't going to last long (when she first started with my stylist she could only sit at her desk in school working for 5 minutes!).   My daughter would only go to this one salon and I don't blame her....it is quiet, calming and soothing....who wouldn't want to relax in this environment and be pampered.  Now picture me coming in with my daughter (always have our standing 9:00 Saturday morning
appointment....because this is a good time for my daughter) with snacks, photo albums, and movies on her iPod (yes before iPads and iPhones were around!).  Looking at us was anything but soothing and relaxing to the outsider, little did they know I was doing all this to relax my daughter in a potential stressful situation for her.

Fast forward to today....years later...when my daughter gets her haircut she doesn't need any reinforcers other than looking around at everyone else getting their hair cut.  She takes it all in just like you or me!  Now she can sit for 45 minutes and let her stylist cut her hair the WHOLE time!  It is so incredible to see....she loves it!  I try to keep our early morning appointments as she does do better in the mornings....with everything...but today we tried an afternoon appointment.....and she did fantastic!  I was so happy for her!!!  I always carry in my bag "goodies" for the just in case moments, but most times I do not have to bring them out.  I just love how she can enjoy a hair cut in a relaxing setting just like I can!  It didn't happen over night, but it did happen!  Of course, with this nice salon there comes a higher price tag than what most of my friends are paying for their children's haircuts....but to see her sit for so long and be pampered, I tell my husband, I would pay anything!  He finally agreed!

This evening I was able to share another mother/daughter date with my girls.  We went to a fundraiser for my daughter where you paint a picture....everyone was painting their version of the Girl Power 2 Cure flower for Rett Syndrome.  My friend, whose daughter has been in my daughter's class for 2 years (and this year will be the 3rd!), arranged for tonight to happen.  It was so much fun.  I think we had at least 20 mother/daughter combinations.

Evening events are always harder for my daughter for many reason, but the main one being she is tired at the end of the day.  I have to always remind myself she works double or triple time all day long, so she has every right to be tired.  I never want to push her, but at the same time it is hard for us to do things as a family unit at these later times of the day.  This is when I need to have my Plan B.  Without a doubt I did not want my daughter to miss coming tonight, after all it was for her!  However, I knew she wasn't going to last long, as she was already showing signs this afternoon she was tired....she had Physical Therapy at 8:30 this morning for an hour, worked with her teacher, and got her haircut!  Was I playing with fire to try and take her tonight?

I had a plan....we were all going....me, my mom and my two girls...and when I saw my daughter showing signs she was ready to be done, my husband would come pick her up.  It was the best of both worlds....I got to experience another mother/daughter date with both of my girls...even if it was for an hour (I will take any time I can get) and when she was indicating it was time to go, I didn't have to shorten the time for my other daughter.   The plan worked out very well....my daughter was there for me to introduce her to everyone so they could meet a little girl who lives with Rett Syndrome and remember her as they paint their pictures with the Girl Power Flower.  She was there to share painting time with me and paint her background of her picture.  She was there to get a delicious cupcake made by our dear friend who organized the event.  She was there long enough to share a special moment with me, her sister and grandmother.

Driving home we talked to my dad and my decision to have my husband come pick her up was right on....she was already asleep.  Hearing this made me feel so much better, as I always have a piece of me which is broken when I can't share all mother/daughter experiences with her like I can with my other daughter.  However, I will take the time we do share with these experiences over not experiencing them at all.

Here are some quotes for today....

The love between a mother and daughter is forever- Barbara Cage

There is no way to be a perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a good one- Jill Churchill

Sometimes the things we can't change, end up changing us- Unknown

1 comment:

  1. I love this post, Emily! Glad you had a good night! Love to you and the family! Xo Anne