Sunday, August 19, 2012

Silence

Today's gift is silence.

For many of you, you may be wondering why her gift today to me is silence, when all I want in the world is for her to talk to me.  Trust me, I want my daughter to be Little Miss Chatterbox, but there is something about having complete silence at times too.

Often my head wants to explode from the constant questions of "wants" from my other two children that often results in whining....and if it is not the whining than it is the bickering back and forth between the two of them.....and the rest of the time they are angels who help me more than I realize.  However, because of the whining and bickering, I want to go find a secret hiding place where no one can find me to get FIVE minutes of silence.  A little bit of silence to me, is like taking a 15 minute cat nap....I feel refreshed and relaxed.

Many times when I am with my daughter with Rett syndrome, there is no silence for she is either humming, saying my name a million times (I love it...not complaining!!!), playing on her iPad, or she is doing roll call by saying everyone's name she knows (it is so cute to hear!).  But there are moments when we sit together and there is complete silence and I truly enjoy these moments of peace with her.

Twice today we experienced complete silence together.  The first time, a huge rain storm came through and we were sitting on the screened porch.  It was so relaxing looking out at the rain falling and to actually listen to the storm.  It is no wonder they have rain and thunderstorm as options on sound machines!  I can't tell you the last time I sat outside to just listen to the rain in complete silence. 

After we came in from the pool today, we were relaxing on the porch in rocking chairs.  Everyone else was in the house and the only thing we could hear were birds chirping.  The two of us just sat holding hands watching the trees sway in the breeze.

It was at this moment I realized that her gift to me today was silence, but at the same time she was giving me her gift we were also enjoying the gift of nature from God.  The rain, wind, thunder and lightening, and the birds....we appreciated them all today for their true sounds and beauty.  I never really stop what I am doing when it rains to really enjoy the sound and fresh smell, just like I don't stop to enjoy hearing birds chirping.  They have become background noise to me and something I just know is there.

Today I truly enjoyed experiencing moments of silence with my daughter as we shared the beauty of nature together.

Here are some quotes for today....

Silence is a source of great strength- Lao Tzu

We listen too much to the telephone and we listen too little to nature.  The wind is one of my sounds.  A lonely sound, perhaps, but soothing.  Everybody should have his personal sounds to listen for- sounds that will make him exhilarated and alive, or quiet or calm....As a matter of fact, one of the greatest sounds of them all- and to me it is a sound- is utter, complete silence- Andre Kostelanetz

We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness.  God is the friend of silence.  See how nature- trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence...We need silence to be able to touch souls- Mother Theresa

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