Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Expressing your feelings

Today's gift is expressing your feelings.

When you are frustrated with someone or something what do you do? You talk out loud to yourself or someone getting some steam off your chest. When your sad, you cry and probably most of us talk to someone about our feelings. If your not feeling well and you need help from someone you are able to tell them what is wrong and what you need. And of course when you are happy, most of the world can see how you feel by the smile on your face or the joy in your voice.

To most of us, being able to express our feelings, comes easily...naturally....but to others, like my daughter, expressing feelings is anything but easy. It is extremely difficult.

This morning my daughter slept in and lucky for her she had physical therapy this morning, so she didn't have to get up as early as she normally does on a typical school morning. Our morning went smoothly eating breakfast, getting dressed and driving to therapy. However, as soon as we started her therapy session, she was just "off" a little, but was still doing what was asked of her. Her therapist could also sense she wasn't on her "A Game", so she did not push her and have her walk backwards on the treadmill like she normally does. Instead they went straight into stretching.

My daughter's body language speaks volumes. Once you get to know her, you will see she tries and does express so much from her body language....whether it is a certain giggle, a certain word being repeated over and over again or a look in her eye....they all mean something different. Since she can not express her feelings verbally like you and me, she has to have another way to express her feelings to us.

While her therapist was stretching her legs this morning, my daughter was really quiet....more so than she normally is during therapy. I just kept an "eye" on her as I watched her body language for signs she was going to show us the feeling "frustrated". Not 20 minutes later, my intuition was correct....she got "the look" and started to get upset.

The million dollar question....why? I wish I knew why she was getting upset. She was doing the same therapy she normally does, nothing new was being introduced. However, something this morning was making her upset.

We did not have her "work through it", instead we left and I had her calm down before returning her to school. I did not want her walking into school upset or starting her day off on the wrong foot.

The rest of her day at school went very well. And her afternoon at home was fine too. However, sometimes when her brother and sister get all wild or fired up, it can cause her to become the same. My middle daughter did not have trouble expressing her feelings today towards doing her homework...wow! I have no idea what got into her between school, her Girl Scout meeting and coming home...but at this moment her talking it out to herself was the best thing.

Of course, my daughter didn't like hearing her sister carry on, so she started her "happy" yelling...which I don't like any better than her "mad" yelling, except I know she will not be getting mad with this yell. Great...now I have two of my three kids carrying on! Thankfully my son was staying to himself and being good. And thankfully my middle daughter stopped carrying on about her homework and did it...beautifully I might add!

My daughter still does an amazing job of getting many of her feelings across to us. While I wish the harder ones would be easier for her to express, they are not. The feelings she has the hardest time expressing to us, truly breaks my heart and makes me feel helpless at times. But then she will do something like she did tonight before bed which makes me feel closer to her....and not helpless. Tonight we were all lying on our bed and my daughter wanted me to play "boo" with her. I look at her, close my eyes, and keep moving my face closer to hers slowly and at some point I say, "boo" and she jumps and laughs! We were in the "wind down" stage and I didn't want her to get all "wound" up, so I wasn't doing "boo" like she was requesting. Then she took her hand, placed it on my face, and moved my face towards her face, looked me in the eyes and said, "boo"! Like I could say no to this!

After not knowing what was making her feel upset this morning, there was no other way I wanted her to end her day, other than feeling happy!

Here are some quotes for today...

Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf - Jonatan Martennson

Of all the things you wear, your expression is most noticeable- Janet Lane

Never take anyone's feelings for granted because you never know how much courage they took to show their feelings to you and trusted you completely- Unknown

 

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