Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Having Me Take a Step Back

Today's gift is having me take a step back.

I want to be involved in every aspect of my daughter's care. From doctors, to therapists, to school and everything in between. Who doesn't right?

I have always been right by my daughter's side at all her therapies...as I want to be. I want to see what she is working on and how she is handling herself. I want to see the smiles so I know she is okay even though she is "working". However, today I took a step back at therapy and my daughter truly enjoyed it.

I took a step back one other time not too long ago and my daughter seemed to do better than if I was right by her side. So today, I tired it again. Same response....lots of laughing and doing things without hesitation. Now if I was right next to her, she would have not tried her hardest.

Today was a sign from her, she is ready for me to take one step back and let her have some free time without me...right by her side. If I stop and think about it, there are only two times I am not by her side. At school and when she is asleep. While she is at school of course she has someone with her at all times...but it is not me.

I realized today she needs to grow just like my other children do. She needs to have "her time" doing something without mom by her side. Her therapy is her "extra curricular" right now like gymnastics is to her sister. I'm not standing by her sister throughout her gymnastics lesson, so why can't I give my daughter space at therapy.

I know her therapists will go over everything with me after her session. I can still sneak a peek and see her from where I sit while I wait for her. I know she is okay.

I asked her tonight while I was putting her to bed if she liked it when I watched her physical therapy session....and she said "no". Then I asked her if she wanted me to not watch her anymore and she said "yes". She has spoken....I will listen.

My daughter is still getting older even though she has Rett Syndrome. She still has feelings even though she has Rett Syndrome. She still wants to be treated like her peers and with respect even though she has Rett Syndrome. When she gives me signs she is ready to take a step forward, I need to listen...even if it means I have to take a step back.

Here is a quote for today....

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go - Keith Urban

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